Friday, April 4, 2014

Life

WTF.  I am still in the funk.  Not as big, but still in it.  I remember when I was all pumped and positive.  And I want that again.  I am not totally drowned in despair or anything like that.  But I would like to be more YES... if you know what I mean.  I just want to up it.  I want to have a flourish quiet time. So that is my goal to move to the light.



Even though as I grow older, I am having all these cray cray changes... things I used to be ok with are not ok any more; things I used to love I no longer love etc.  I know that is normal and I am ok with it.  Ok, now I am not sure where this is going...  Everyone has their own uniqueness or quirk.  I have eczema and I hate it... there are people with other "issues" that they also don't like at all... and that's part of their life.  Everyone has "ickyness" that they are stuck with.  We just need to learn to deal with it and how to accept and manage it as gracefully as possible.  So that's what I am doing.  I am actively looking for "alternative treatments" or things/tools to help deal with it.  Yup, that's my take after watching a YT video yesterday.  Ha.

I am still a bit addicted to watching them.  I have a few fav.  Surprisingly, not all are makeup related... actually I didn't find all MU related channels are that great.  Some are great, some are ok.  But that's just life.  There are a mix of everything and everyone's taste is different and it is ok to have different opinions.  I just unsubscribed to a bunch yesterday.  Lots of them have lots of followers. But I don't have to follow everyone to like and/or subscribe to that channel just because s/he is popular.  I have a choice.

I did that with Instagram too.  I was following way too many accounts.  I am a "serious" IG-er.  I want to keep up with my feed as much as possible.  And I was following too many nail accounts, dog accounts etc.  One night I got an "panic attack" (I used quote, because I was never diagnosed, so I just call it what I think it is) and I know that I need to trim down my follow list.  I have at one point enjoyed those accounts, but I have to do what is best for me.  They don't "lost" anything with me unfollowing.  I am just an insignificant little IG-er.  So anyway, I cut my list by 1/3, at least... I think.  And I feel great.  I use IG to post pics I find interesting or mean something to me... and as a side bonus I followed some cool people who has pics that I enjoy looking at and some I even interacted with.

So life is always about choices and changes.  I am learning everyday to not to be scared and be open and to embrace them.  And with me getting back on track to a quiet time, I will be so much happier.  That's my choice.

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.  Even though life is crazy, I still have some constants in my life.  God.  And Gigi.


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A collection of her yawn pics. LOL. Did she think by yawning I will take the phone away from her face? LOL.


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Here we are wearing matching scarfs. :D


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Sleeping on my bed.

Skin is doing ok.  My hands are fine once again.  Mostly anyway.  It is always so weird.  Hands will do all evil things and I will put all these stuff on them.  And nothing happened and one day, they are better. :/  I am thankful for that, but also so puzzled.  My body is doing ok.  Thighs still itch, body also itches, but it is definitely getting better... still some "rashes" on my back.  Got some dry patches on my forehead, it could be just dry skin, but I think it's eczema.  The kind of "eczema" that ordinary people are calling.  The kind that I refer as to "nothing" and roll my eyes at.  All about perspective.
I am so thankful Gigi's skin is good.  Yes, she gets flakes when she rolled crazy on the floor.  Also loooooots of flakes after she had a bath.  Dry tips on her ears and thin fur.  But other than those, her skin is amazing.  Belly still pink.  She did have a few more "age spot" or "birth mark".  Who knew where they come from.  And the huge scar is still on her chest.  Did not try to put things on there to ease it.  I think scars are cool and her scar is kind of zig zag.  And her scar on her back too.  They remind me of how lucky I am... because she ALWAYS LEAVE THEM ALONE.  They never bother her... hence she did not have to wear the cone of shame for those.  I am a lucky woman. :D